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X-MON, The Apocalypse!!
This is a game where you’re
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(This game is not suitable for anyone for the amount of gore, violence toward cute little creatures,
and amounts of fanservice for both, guys and girls. The show does not approve this game but we are broke as hell so we had
to show you this. And now back to the show…)
Steve: Hello everyone and
welcome back to BFA (Bad fanfic Arena)
An-sama: That’s right
Steve. For the last hours we’ve seen all kinds of manga-ka go at it. Megumi Tachikawa, Yuu Watase, Wataru Yoshizumi,
Haijime Kanzaka, Clamp, and our two finalists: The creator of Sailor Moon, Naoko Takeuchi, and a woman who needs no introduction,
Rumiko Takahashi! And those are just to name a few.
Steve: Should we be surprised
at the outcome of this? After all Takeuchi just have one very known fandom.
An-sama: But have you seen
the kind of people that fandom has? Let’s not forget some of the most infamous authors of the net come from there. Dr.
Steve: … Oscar…
An-sama: Oh yeah, we mustn’t
forget him. -_-;
Steve: So you believe Takeuchi
Steve asked with and eagerness
on his voice to know what the author was going to say. To which she only shrugged while drinking some orange soda.
Steve: What do you mean by
An-sama: It’s anyone’s
ball. Rumiko has lots of fandoms from where she can draw bad fanfics.
Steve: But something as bad
as Artemis lover?
An-sama: P-chan’s lover.
Steve: You’re kidding?
An-sama: Sadly, I’m
not. Just ask Ryoga, he’s still bitching about it.
She said in a cool tone of
voice while taking out a cute little piglet from a box. The pig was trying to get away from its captor as she glomped him
in a crazy fangirl fashion.
Steve: Um… An-sama?
An-sama: What? I deserve
some kind of gratification. Besides Ryoga knows it’s either his “lover” or me.
Steve: Let’s just start
the main event.
And as of cue a curtain of
darkness covered the arena, the cheers that echoed the place seemed nothing but a memory as the crowd became silent in anticipation,
and thus the main event started…
The All-Star theme broke the silence telling the fans to cheer as their two
battling idols came into the room with a grin on their faces and a spirit the made them glow like stars in a darkest of nights.
The first one to arrive to
her battle area was Naoko. She was to battle on the red side of the arena staring right in front of her opponent. With enthusiasm
she arranged her Evangelion-like red battle suit and turned on her duel disk. Then, at last, she took out the essence of her
restless nights and the nightmares that haunted her like a bad echo in the back of her mind: a cd full of the worst sailor
down Takeuchi.” Rumiko yelled from the blue side as she too had finished setting herself up. Her voice showed the kind
of energy a woman who makes crazy stories could have.
With this Naoko couldn’t
help but grin and return some of the spirit. “Only in your dreams Takeuchi.” She yelled back preparing the crowd
for a show they’d never forget.
Steve blinked twice as he
saw the last paragraphs.
Steve: An-sama, since when
do you write prose?
An-sama: Before Spanish Sailor
moon fanfiction. Spanish fanfic writers wrote a lot in script so I got used to it. But when I entered in the English section
after a couple of years of Spanish I saw prose again. So I do a mixture of the two. I’m just trying prose again, sadly
is not as good as I used to be.
Steve: Well, back to the
Both of them kept yelling
titles of bad fanfiction, each worse than the one name before. Each fanfic turned into energy to attack the opponent depending
on the level of badness.
“The evil of your fandom
is strong Takahashi, I’ll give you that… but it is no match for mine” Takeuchi said with a tone of determination
on her voice. She didn’t want to use it, as its energy would be too strong to handle. But there was no choice in the
matter if Takeuchi could stand a power like Virgin Warrior Sailor Moon.
Rumiko knew what was coming
and she was prepared. She only hoped that her own kind of evil was strong enough to handle it.
And both forces turned into
energy and collided together. Such power… such energy… just by looking at it you could feel it beating you into
insanity. And, as it often happens, the energy of both fics was too great and it exploded destroying the arena and sending
Now it was time for Sunrise
and Naoko Takeuchi was weeping among the ruble with Rumiko Takahashi trying to console her. Just then in front of them some
of the rubble started to move and Steve, and An-sama came from the ground.
Rumiko: Is it avatar-harvesting
Naoko groaned at the poor
joke Rumiko made.
Naoko: How can you joke at
a time like this? DO you have any idea what this explosion means?
An-sama: That Rumiko and
you have to split the money?
Rumiko: Mass destruction
needs no excuse?
Naoko: No! Can’t you
An-sama & Rumiko: Have
you seen the type of stories I create?
Steve: Calm down Naoko. It’s
not that bad.
Steve said while rubbing
Naoko: How can I calm down?
After Dic and my fandom sent my story to hell! And even Japan screwed with Sailor moon after S. I’m just going home
and try some painkillers.
Rumiko: We can’t just
give up! There are good in our fandoms… I know it!
Naoko: I gave up a long time
ago Rumiko. Ja ne!
Naoko replied while leaving
Rumiko and her hopes behind.
An-sama: Don’t mind
her Rumiko. We’ll help you.
Rumiko: You will? Thank you
Steve: But help with what
Rumiko: You can read fanfics
in my name and send the good ones to me.
An & Steve: WHAT?!
Rumiko: Well, got to go.
And so the queen of romantic
comedy left before An and Steve could reply.
Steve: What now An?
An: Well I don’t want
to turn my brain into mashed potatoes so how about if we…
At some diner in Fandom the
AIM crew was eating and talking about very important matters.
Althena: Mika! After this
meal we are completely broke! Can’t you focus?
Inuyasha: That’s right!
Althena: So how about if
we crossdress Inuyasha and--
Althena: But you’re
Althena said with a grin
that soon faded at Inuyasha’s response, which was one hell of a death glare.
-I hear you guys need money.
A voice came from behind
the trio surprising them. It was a 15-year-old guy with an blank look on his face.
Mika: Who are you?
-I’m a priest of Althena’s
temple. Steve is the name.
Inuyasha: So you want something
with the annoying person besides me?
Steve: I’m sure that’s
Inuyasha & Mika: And
we are sure you don’t know her.
Althena glared at both of
them and smacked them upside the head with her Godly Powered Folding Fan. Sure, it didn’t prove she wasn’t annoying
but at least served to relief stress.
Althena: What can I do for
Steve: Well actually I need
all of you. I need you to find soul fragment guarded by an all female of beautiful amazons. If you’re not interested--
WE’LL DO IT!!
The trio screamed from the
top of their lungs at the chance that came with a mallet and bashed their head in sending them to daydream land.
(thinking) A new soul fragment might be useful. It might even return my memory or give me a new power to kick Mika and Inuyasha’s
butt for being such jerks.
Inuyasha: (thinking) A new
soul fragment can be the key to get me back home and far FAR away from Althena and Mika.
Mika: (Thinking) An all-female
Amazon tribe. If it is anything like Megami Paradise this will be too good to be true.
Steve took Althena’s
hand taking the trio out of their trance and handed her a piece of paper.
Steve: Here is a map to the
Althena: Won’t you
Steve: I would love to but
I can’t. I have duties at Althena’s temple that can no go unattended. Just be sure to stop by the temple and I’ll
pay you greatly.
Mika: You bet we will.
Steve: Well then, I will
be leaving. It’s been a pleasure meeting you.
Steve said with a calm voice
while standing up. But before he could go Althena grabbed his hand.
Althena: Wait. Before you
Steve: Before I go what?
Althena: You have to pay
the bill of course.
Althena: Let’s go guys!
Both Mika and Inuyasha nodded
at the statement. Before you could say free ramen/pocky/sake over here the trio already left the place leaving Steve shocked.
Steve: Well I guess this
is ok. How big can the bill be?
Steve said to himself trying
to assure himself. But as soon as he grabbed the tiny piece of paper it started to grow like toilet paper in a commercial
rolling down the hill.
Steve: O_O DAMN!!
The sun was shining at full
power signaling it was noon already. Our heroes have been already an hours on their quest lost in spirit forest.
Inuyasha: Are you sure this
is the right way Althena?
The hanyou asked while cutting
a way through the forest. The Goddess who was holding the map upside down nodded assured.
Althena: Have I ever been
The goddess replied in a
prideful tone that did not inspired much confidence in her comrades.
Mika: Too many times to count.
Althena: Ye of little faith.
I’m sure this is the Amazon forest.
Mika: If we are, why don’t
I feel another female nearby?
Inuyasha: And besides, we
aren’t walking in the path marked on the map.
He replied cutting a tree
branch out of the way.
Althena: And I’m getting
hungry. We should have asked for more food before we left the place since we didn’t had to pay the bill.
Inuyasha: Then why don’t
you help me clear your so-called “path” by eating some of these plants so we can get there faster?
Althena: No thanks.
Mika: I wonder what kind
of babes we’ll see.
Althena: We might win money
Inuyasha: Am I the only one
with a hurry to get there to end this trip?!
The duo nodded while holding
a sign that read, “Let’s make a picnic!”
Inuyasha: I should have known.
He said under his breath
while clearing the path for his companions. But the more in they got the thicker the path became until they were completely
Althena: I have a bad feeling.
Mika: Must be the fact that
the author is playing the suspense theme in the background.
Inuyasha: (to the author)
That isn’t helping!!
Suddenly a fan came into
the scene flying like a boomerang taking by surprise the trio and knocked them out. From behind them came An-sama.
An-sama: That happens to
them because for trying the break the 4 barrier. Good thing I’m the author or else I wouldn’t be able to sneak
from their senses. Now lets have some fun…
Time passed and it had already
been a day from the incident in spirit forest. The clear blue skies and the deep forest that previously surrounded the hapless
trio changed to a dark room with a wide screen.
Slowly Althena woke up to see Inuyasha sitting staring at her with his deep amber eyes while Mika was checking
for a way out.
Inuyasha: About time you
Althena: Where are we?
-You’re in my satellite.
A voice answered surprising
them. A teenage girl with shoulder length curly hair and brown hair and eyes answered.
Girl: I’m An-sama,
your boss, and I have placed you here as an AU universe experiment. You are here to read fanfics for Rumiko Takahashi in search
of good ones.
Althena: You must be kidding!
An-sama: No, I’m not.
You’re other friends will join you soon enough.
Mika: What other friends?
An-sama: Hikari, Carlos,
AIM: Oh, great…
The trio said sarcastically
at the idea of being stuck with them in a very confide space.
An-sama: Well, that said
and done, let the experiment begin.
HAVE A FANFIC SIGN!!