Inuyasha and Althena's Realm of Humor

Chapter 2: The talk

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Inuyasha was walking around the satellite looking for Hikari. It’s been over a day since he last saw her. And the fact she didn’t showed up for the conga line party was even weirder.


Finally he reached the kitchen where Sakura and Mika were preparing a huge sandwich together made with everything in the kitchen.


Sakura: Cheese?

Mika: Yes.

Sakura: Ham?

Mika: Yes.

Sakura: Mayo, olives, pickles?
Mika: All those.

Sakura: Me covered in whip cream?

Mika: Whip cream and jello yeah, you stay where you are.


Against his sane judgment Inuyasha decided to interrupt them.


Inuyasha: Have you two seen Hikari? I can’t seem to find her.

Sakura: Miss Phoenix trainer? She’s been in a dark room unsupervised with Steve ever since she beat Carlos.

Inuyasha: The priest?

Sakura: Actually, he’s not a priest. He said that to gain our trust.

Mika: And every time I pass by I hear the strangest noises coming out of their room.


Upon hearing this Inuyasha’s entire mood gave a fiery turn as flames glowed around his body. With a swift movement of his hand he drew out his sword and sliced the sandwich in different parts.


Seeing how fast he turned out to be he smirked and was ready to do that on anyone else if necessary. There was nothing or nobody to stop him.


(Cue fanfic alarm)

…except that of course.


-Althena, Inuyasha, and Mika report to the theater. 


Inuyasha: OF ALL THE TIMES FOR THIS!! ^&*)(^(^*(^*^&*()(!!!!
Sakura: You sure have a rainbow of vocabulary, don’t you Inuyasha.

Mika:  Let’s go.


Althena walks in for the traditional scream before the fic.




Door 7: It’s Megami paradise. You take too long trying to get Mika out of there.


Door 6: It’s a Karaoke bar. Now it takes too much trying to get Althena out of there.


Door 5: You pass by the feudal era. You knock Inuyasha before he notices it.


Door 4: It’s Clamp’s wonderland. Inuyasha has a breakdown and you drag him out.


Door 3: It’s Cephiro. Be careful with the giant Marshmallow.


Door 2: It’s made of cute plushies. You make your way by destroying them.


Door 1: It’s a water slide. Get on your bathing suit and yell “YAY!!!”



CH2: the talk


>Althena: I guess the author searched for help after the pregnancy comment last time.

>Mika: Of course. I started a sex Aid business.

>Inuyasha: Don’t you mean Sex Ed?

>Mika: Nope.

>A.I: (groan) >_<


Kag: “wow I forgot how good this feels”


>Mika: (eating popcorn) Man, this is getting of to a great start.

>Inuyasha: This is NOT that kind of fic!!

>Mika: Don’t screw this for me.


Sango: “you mean without Inuyasha being in here with you”


>Mika: (as Kagome) Inuyasha’s good but there’s nothing like a friend’s touch to know what places to press.

>Inuyasha hits him in the head while Althena just shakes her head.


 smiling wickedly Kag: “you should be the last person to talk” eyeing her friend


>Althena: This must be the most poorly written attempt at scrip I have ever seen.

>Mika: Kind of remind you to a porn script.

As the two friends joked and laughed, Sora slowly dipped into the spring.

Kag: well... how does the water feel?” Sora: “it feels great, especially after that battle with Sesshomaru” Sango: “What you were in battle with Sesshomaru!?”


>Inuyasha: (as Sora) I was the target. It’s my new job and I’m getting requests like crazy.

>Althena: (as Sora) I was myself. Apparently that was enough to make him attack me randomly.

>Mika: (as Sora) I was naked. Apparently that was offensive in some sort.

>A.I: (Covering their eyes) OH MY GOD!! The image burns!


 Sora: “Yeah he thought I was Inuyasha, but when he saw who I was he swore to destroy me. But I escaped before he had time to develop his final blow.”


>Althena: Next time he should hire…

>A.M: (Striking their poses) A.I.M! The Anti Idiotic Mary-Sues Team!


>Althena: Come on Inuyasha.

>Inuyasha: (Glaring from his seat) Bite me.

Kag: “why would Sesshomaru attack you, his own family!?


>Inuyasha: Apparently the pregnancy made Kagome stupid. Sesshomaru hates me and I’m actually his brother. Not that I like him much!

>Althena: Nah, it was the author that made Kagome like that.


 Sango: “Kagome think about it Sesshomaru wants to destroy Inuyasha and their also family.”

Sora: “He’s only my half brother, Inuyasha and me came from the same mother, but Sess. came from another lady”


>Inuyasha: Sesshomaru gets all the luck.

>Mika: Sure… if you call getting stuck with most yaoi fics luck…

>Inuyasha: I take it back.

>Althena: But she can’t be related to Sesshoumaru. She’s part wolf! And by the way, the age doesn’t match for her to be Inuyasha’s sis.

>Inuyasha: Would you just stop trying to understand Mary Sue logic?


 After the explanation Sora sat there listening and laughing to Sango and Kagome as they tell her some embarrassing things Inuyasha and Miroku did.


>Mika: (as Kagome) Remember that time Inuyasha got stuck cross-dressing as the princess?

>Althena: (As Sango) Or the time we went to wonderland? It was so funny when the red queen chased Inuyasha’s cute butt.

>Inuyasha: (sinking in his chair from utter humiliation) STOP IT!!

Inu: “did you enjoy your bath?” Kag: “yes, I did but it wasn’t the same without you.” Mir: “how bout you Sango miss me?” San: “yep. I miss your mischievous hands”


>Mika: Why wouldn’t the author write about that?!

>Althena: No way An-sama would indulge you in that way.

As the couple held each other kissing, Sora couldn’t help but smile. Finally knowing that her brother found true love, and imaging that, that was Kouga and her.



>Inuyasha: Damn that image of she taking Kagome’s place in the kiss.

>Mika: That’s what you imagine?

>Inuyasha: Yeah…

>Althena: We imagined since her hair is silver and Koga’s black… you kissing Koga instead of Kagome.
>Inuyasha: (Turns very green)

>Althena: Oh gross! Don’t puke here.

Kag: “I bet everyone’s hungry let’s have some dinner.” As everyone sat down and started to eat, as for Sora she enjoyed her first cup of ramen.


>Inuyasha: Hey! That’s my ramen! No sharing.

Inu: “Sora aren’t you goin’ to bed.?” Sora: “yeah. But not now.” Inu: “well good night” Sora: “good night”

As the group fell asleep Sora decided to go to the lake that she passed by when goin’ to the springs.

“it beautiful, so peaceful, so calm just like the lake mother and father took us to. Just before they died and before Sesshomaru wanted to kill Inuyasha and me” Sora thought to her self.


>Inuyasha: When was that? Since Sesshomaru has wanted to kill me ever since I was born.

>Mika: Apparently it was when both of you were in your parents pants as they were walking by here.

“Hello my love enjoying the sight” Koga said


>Althena: From where on hell did he came from?

>Inuyasha: Just smile and nod.


Sora: “yes I am... and nice to see you to” Koga: “you look so beautiful in the moonlight” Sora: “even for a half wolf demon” Sora: “I don’t consider you a half wolf, I consider you as my mate. One who belongs to me and no one else, one who would love to receive...the moonlit flower every evening.” Sora: “o my gosh... how did you find this... how do you that the moonlit flower was my favorite.”


>Mika: He is SO acting nice to get laid!

>Althena: I don’t know if I should get drunk or puke.
>Inuyasha: Me neither. Both seem so better than this self gratification scene.

“that doesn’t matter, I want you to be mine. I’ll give you anything you ask for, anything your heart desires. Even if that means traveling with you and that mangy mutt” Koga said softly nuzzling her neck while his hands were slowly sliding up her skirt.


>Althena and Inuyasha glare at Mika.

>Althena: (glaring at Mika) Did you disguise yourself as Koga?

>Mika: (as Xellos) Now that’s a secret.

“Inuyasha isn’t a mangy...” before she could finish her sentence Koga kissed her passionately, while his hands were caressing her body.

Sora wrapped her arms around Koga’s neck and leaned back making Koga lay on top of her she never wanted this moment to end.

>A.M: (as Koga singing) I’m gonna get laid! I’m gonna get laid!

>Inuyasha: (singing along) And you two are really insane.

The next morning Sora woke up to find herself still wrapped in Koga’s arms. Sora smiled lightly and fell back to sleep wrapping her arms around his arms

“Inuyasha were is Sora, she’s not here.” Said Shippo fearfully Inu: “maybe she slept in one of the trees” he said still sleeping

“No she didn’t Kirara checked all the trees for her scent in this area. I’m telling you she’s not here”


>Mika: (as Shippo) Although I heard her when she came.

>Inuyasha: Huh?

>Althena: (crimson) Leave it at that Inu-chan. You don’t really want to know.


said Shippo shaking Kagome and Sango to help him find her.

“What!?” screamed Inuyasha “we have to look for her, especially if Sesshomaru, Naraku or Kouga finds her who knows what they’ll do to her” said Kagome fearing the worst for Inu’s. lil’ sis.


>Althena: Hate to break it to you Inuyasha but Koga found her and she’s not so little anymore.

>Mika: She’s just like her mom.


>Inuyasha punches Mika across the face.


>Inuyasha: Leave my mother out of this!

As the group head off looking for Sora Inuyasha picked up Kouga’s scent near the lake.


“I smell Kouga... over there by the lake.”


>Althena: And boy does he stinks! You would figure being near water he would have the courtesy of taking a bath. And that goes to you too Inu-chan…


>Inuyasha just whistles while staring elsewhere.



Said Inuyasha running toward the scent the group follows, and were surprised to see Sora sitting in Kouga’s lap asleep with his arms wrapped around her.

“Kouga you, you jerk. She’s only a child, she’s not even 14 yet.” Miroku yelled angrily at Kouga, waken him and Sora up.


>Althena: (Absolutely HORRIFIED) OMG!! Wasn’t she 16?! KYAAAAA!! NO KIDDIDY PORN!!


>Runs around crazy and screaming bloody murder (or damn pedophilia whichever seems best for you)


>Mika: Thank god this isn’t Chibi Usa’s 7 birthday or we would be in REAL trouble.

>Inuyasha: Yep.

Sora jumped up angrily “how dare you say that I’m not even 14 yet, I’m 16 and I’m not a child, I can take care of myself I did it for the past 14 years.”


>Mika: You heard that Althena? This isn’t one of those!

>Althena: (blinks twice) For real?

>Inuyasha: That’s right.


>Sits back very calm.

“That’s it Kouga, I’m gonna rip your hands for touching her.”


>Althena: (As crocodile hunter) Crikey! An almost total character moment has shown itself.

Inuyasha was about to strike Kouga when Sora jumped in the way staring Inuyasha right in the eyes saying, “your gonna have to go through me first”


>Inuyasha: My pleasure.

Inu: “what are you talking about, he my sworn enemy. And he’s going down.”

Sora: “I don’t care. I love him. Since the time you and me been apart Inuyasha I been in a battle with Naraku. He saved me and took care of my wounds and since that time I fell in love with him, and he loves me back. So GET USED TO IT.!”


>A.I.M: HUH?!

>Althena: The author just keeps throwing the plot around without reason to explain it!

>Mika: Hey, it saves time and is less torture.

>Althena: Good point.

Inu:” but...”

But was the only word Inuyasha could say as he looked at Sora and Kouga. Both of them were holding each other, Sora had a tear running down her cheek as if Inuyasha would kill her for falling in love with him.


>Inuyasha: No, I will kill her for inserting me in her story completely OOC, posed as my sister and knocked Kagome and Sango out, as Althena likes to say it.


Kag: “Inuyasha, don’t do this. Your sister finally found true love, just like you and me.” Inu: “all right Sora, you know I would do anything to make you happy. So... I’ll try to make peace with him.”


>Althena: Barf bag?

>I.M: Please do.


>Althena hands the barf bags to everyone who needs to puke right now.

With tears running down her cheeks Sora hugged her brother thanking him, as for Kouga he just whispered thank you to Inuyasha for understanding.


>Althena: The end…so far. The author hasn’t updated.

>Mika: Well for not being hentai I sure made my comments.

>Althena: You always do. Apparently hentai behavior needs no excuse.

>Inuyasha: I’m just glad this thing is over. Let’s go back. I have an ass to kick.

>Althena: Not yet. First we have to give our opinion.


>Inuyasha groaned and sat back fuming.


>Mika: It was kind of fun to MST. I didn’t mind.

>Althena: Well I found it cliché, OOC hell levels beyond saving, Mary Sue, bad writing, and the author just shoves us the plot instead of showing it to us in a nice manner.

>Inuyasha: Pain… just pain.

>Althena: Well this fic can’t be saved! Maybe she’ll be able to write better with some direction.

>Inuyasha: Yeah, whatever, let’s go!



Back in the satellite Inuyasha went running to the room where he was told Hikari was in. Without knocking, or asking permission, he kicked the door open and faced what was going on. Bad for his stamina there was nobody inside. All that there was a chamber made with crystal walls.


-What are you doing?


Inuyasha turned around to see Hikari and Steve back with take-out.


Inuyasha: What were you doing in there?


He asked while pointing into the room where she once was in.


Steve: We are making a Holographic chamber. It runs a virtual reality program that can replicate multiple words either from anime, game card, or even from scratch.

Hikari: Actually he is. I’m just screwing things up by blowing up the machine. I swear it’s up to get me.

Steve: That’s not true Hikari-chan.

Hikari: So every time I touch the machine it explodes because it just happens to believe it’s forth of July?

Steve: Well…


Inuyasha sighed relieved as the young duo entered the room to get back to work. Thing they need to start over as another explosion is heard.


-SEE?! I touched it and it went on flames! I swear that this machine hates me or is temperamentally in love with you.

--A machine in love with me? (laughs) Now that’s funny. As if that could ever happen!










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