“Hello everyone! Welcome to the first installment of A.I.M! I am the Goddess above all fandom—”

“Urd? Shuree?”

“Shut up Mika!”

“Keh. This thing is heading to a bad start already.”

“You’re not helping Inuyasha!”

“And you are?”

“This is meaning less; everything is meaning less; plot is meaning less.”

“The golden rule of fanfics.”

“And with that in mind I say we screw this and do the echi-echi genki dance!”

“NO WAY!!”

“GO TO HELL!!”

“Look, why don’t we just start the story already instead of having such a meaningless intro?”

***********************************************************************

It all started in a magical Kingdom named Fandom. There it lived all the muses for not only the manga creators, but also for you, yes you, the fans, that want to write all sorts of stories called fanfics. This poor muses that got stuck sometimes, actually most of the time, with bad authors and even worst: bad lemon fanfic authors. Oh, the horror. Oh, the humanity. Oh, but I rant.

Ruling above all of the muses was the kind leader Althena. Known for her beauty, grace and wisdom she was respected by all entities. Of course this being a comedy this nice little sketch won’t last long.

Miki- chan: So what will we do now?

Asked one of the muses to the Goddess in front of them. They were all reunited in the big hall seeing how their leader was vanishing before their eyes.

Goddess Althena: Don’t worry my dears. One of you will go and find the chosen one. And that one is Kirei-chan.

Ok… maybe she’s not so wise.

The rest of the muses showed their appreciation to that selection in the most ancient of ways: bitching.   And in the middle of all those complaints there was a creature of pure heart and kindness smiling. She was a mixture of a cute little teddy bear and a pink rabbit, which we’ll call babbit.

Lina-chan: But goddess Althena, of all the muses-chan you could send, why Kirei-chan? She’s a total airhead.

The other muses nodded in agreement looking up to their goddess.

Goddess Althena: Because that’s what the scrip says. Any complaints take it to the author. Besides maybe Kirei-chan won’t screw up this time.

Of course the other muses didn’t believed this, and who can blame them. Hell even the goddess herself didn’t believed this. But even so she gave to Kirei a crystal ball and the happy babbit made a happy dance.

And with that show of lack of fate the goddess waved good-bye to the group of muses. Truly nobody could be in a worst situation.

-RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

A voice could be heard from the halls of a private school. It came from a running girl heading towards a classroom. It came from a very short brunette with short brown hair and big eyes to match. She was running faster than a normal girl from some unknown threat. Finally she reached the Biology classroom in the second floor and quickly enters it.

Inside there was another brunette, but this one had wavy medium hair and was much taller, writing in a notebook. Now normally these two would talk, but instead the shorty ran under the teacher’s desk leaving the tall one confused.

-You didn’t saw me Angels!

The tall brunette stared at her confused while putting her stuff back in her book bag.

Angels: What’s with you, Crystal?

Crystal: Carlos’ coming with something he just cooked in home Ec.

She replied trying to fit herself into one of the cabinets. And amazingly the skinny little girl could hide inside them pretty well.

Angels could feel her face turn blue as the slow but sure pace from the halls became louder. It was obvious who it was and if she didn’t hide soon she would be screwed.

As he came into the classroom she went out with hopes he didn’t saw her.

Carlos: Angels!

But if you haven’t guessed luck never works for her. So instead she ran as fast as she could from Carlos, which would be an easy task normally if she were in good physical condition to begin with… which she is not.

She reached the stairs and ran up, instead of down and out of school you idiot, and at the top she came across with her friend Jimmy. Usually she would stop and have a talk with him, but now she was on the run, so instead she pushed him out of the way making him roll down the stairs like a huge human canon ball crashing with Carlos at the end of the stairs.

Angels: You know, for an accident that worked pretty well.

She said happily jumping away from the crashing site. But like I said, good luck run dry with her as she could hear…

Carlos: Angels, wait!!

… right behind her. She quickly turned to see Carlos standing behind her.

Angels: Oh crap!

And thus part two of the chase begins.

But back to Kirei-cha who was getting ready to leave by doing the happy-happy dance while her fellow muse friends, Tomo-chan and Aya-chan, watched her. Aya-chan was pretty much annoyed while Tomo-chan was drinking tea peacefully.

Kirei-chan: <(^_^<)  <(^_^)>  (>^_^)>  <(^_^)>  <(^_^<)  <(^_^)>  (>^_^)> 
Aya-chan: Can I beat her up?

Tomo-chan: Is that any way to talk Aya-chan?

Aya-chan: Sorry. Can I beat her up, please?

Tomo-chan: Yes, you may.

Aya-chan gets her brass knuckles but why don’t we forget this and go back to the other world.

Carlos was still chasing the poor Angels around the school.

Angels: Carlos, leave me alone! What part of bite me you don’t get?!

Carlos: But that’s what I want you to do! Bite my food.

Angels: Never!

She replied in a heroic tone of voice, then again it might be considered also a mixture of whining and being royally pissed. But as a salvation, or some good luck there was a guy with a skate in hand talking to some girls. Watching this Angels got an idea and acted quickly. She ran to the guy and simply pulled the skate from his hands and got on it.

Guy: Hey! Give it back.

Angels: Sorry! I’ll give it back later.

She replied with a smirk. At this rate she was finally going to get away from her not so good friend Carlos.

Still… there were two things she just didn’t saw ahead that made this action a HUGE mistake:

a) Angels is a DISASTER on wheels. Roller skates, bicycles, scooters, skate, you name it; she can’t handle it.

b) This was the third floor and the stairs were just ahead.

Angels: KYA!! SOMEBODY HELP ME STOP THIS THING!!

She started screaming like crazy instead of jumping of, the big idiot, after all, since when does things run smoothly for her anyway? But just as she was reaching the border and about to fall down the stairs Carlos reached her and grabbed her from behind preventing her imminent fall.

Angels: Thanks.

She said breathless.  Neither of them moved as they looked down the dark stairs.

Carlos: No problem. Now will you taste what I made, right?

He asked hopefully and showing a big bright smile. Angels looked at him and then down the stairs.

Angels: Maybe falling down the stairs won’t be so bad…

Carlos: HEY!

He replied highly offended while pulling her away from the stairs. Both of them remained silent for a moment until Angels gave up. Finally defeated she nodded at him making him flash a bright smile and take out a bag of cookies.

Not with the utmost of confidence she reached out and grabbed one. After all he did saved her and if she died of food poisoning she could always haunt him for the rest of his life. Slowly but surely she drew the cookie closer to her mouth, but before she could eat it a weird space/time hole opened beside them making them forget about the cookie.

Angels: What the?!

She said amazed, after all it was the first time they saw something like this. And I may not know much about these things but I’m sure they just don’t pop-up from anywhere.

Carlos: Maybe Jim ripped one. I always knew they could be these powerful.
Angels: Eeww. Besides I think your last attempt for a fanfic could have done this.

Carlos: You really think so? I didn’t know I had such an effect.

Angels: It was a Rin/Jaken lemon fic. Enough said.

Carlos: You didn’t even give it a chance.

Angels: It was called “How Rin jumped the toad”. The only chance I didn’t give was for you to have a running head start.

And so they kept on arguing to the point where the poor hole was forgotten. But what did you expect? Angels can have the memory of a goldfish and Carlos… well he’s Carlos, Period. Still, don’t worries my dear because well get back in the plot about… now.

-Hello, my name is Kirei-chan.

The most beautiful and sugary cutesy voice interrupted the fight just as Angels was about to clobber Carlos for writing “101 ways to use Naraku’s arms, the lemon”; poor Inuyasha, he will never live that down. The voice came from the cutest ball of fur you can ever imagine. Now, normally, if a cute creature that you know is impossible to talk to you, and much less exist, does communicates with you, you would freak out. But, these being otakus, they reacted in the correct way.

Angels: KYA!! Cute, evil, pink thing from hell!

Angels started to scream while chasing after it throwing stuff at poor Kirei-chan.

Kirei-chan: Did Kirei-chan screwed up again? Kirei-chan sorry. Kirei-chan needs your help.

Said, while running and crying, the cute little babbit. Still Angels didn’t listen and kept chasing her until Carlos catch up and was able to hold Angels down. At this point he was massaging her shoulders as a way to calm her down.

Carlos: So much for being an angel.

He told her in a very sarcastic tone that she didn’t like very much.

Angels: But it’s cute and evil.

She replied whining like a 7-year-old kid would. It might not be a mature exhibition, but hey, everyone has a right to act like this once in a while.

Carlos: It needs our help. We should listen.

Angels: Let’s not and kick her out. Besides don’t you know that when alien animals talk to you it means you get turned into a magical girl of good? There’s no way I’m fighting in an ultra short skirt and a magic stick; if you can handle the gay outfit that’s your deal.

Carlos shook his head and sighed by his friend’s conclusion. He lowered himself to the lever of the terrified babbit with a sweet, or dumb since it’s a matter of opinion, look on his face.

Carlos: What’s your name?

Kirei-chan: Kirei-chan’s name is Kirei-chan.

Angels: You don’t say.

Angels replied annoyed at the way the thing talked. Jeez, $50 bucks were starting to say Shampoo taught her how to talk.

Carlos: So, what can we do for you?

Kirei-chan: Well, you see... Kirei-chan’s world is ruled by the great goddess Althena, but Kirei-chan’s goddess time has come to an end. So Kirei-chan was chosen to bring the person in which Kirei-chan’s goddess soul will be reborn into to keep on ruling Kirei-chan’s world. Kirei-chan has hope in Kirei-chan’s pure heart and Kirei-chan’s friends have hope in her. And finally Kirei-chan came here with the help of the crystal given to Kirei-chan by Kirei-chan’s goddess. The chosen person to save Kirei-chan’s world is one of you two. So Kirei-chan opened up the portal to take you both to Kirei-chan’s world so Kirei-chan’s friends can decide for Kirei-chan who is the vessel for Kirei-chan’s goddess soul, Althena.

Sakura-chan ended finally shutting up, so you may now praise the lord.

Carlos: Did you get that Angels?

Angels: All I could understand was the name “Kirei-chan” being repeated over, and over, and OVER AGAIN!!

Carlos: Same here. Still, dear Kirei-chan, we accept

Angels: WHAT?!

Angels screamed at him obviously pissed.

Carlos: C’mon Angels. Is not as if Kirei-chan will throw us into an unknown world, use one of us to protect some spirit of a goddess with the risk of losing who you are, and have no chance of coming back here any time soon.

Kirei-chan: That’s right! Kirei-chan will kick you in instead.

Angels: What the--?!

But before Angels could finish her question a giant boot came out of nowhere and kicked them across the hall and into the black hole. As soon as they came into the black hole this one closed and nobody noticed what happened. But do they ever in these things?

At the other side of the space/time portal™ the three adventurers arrived to a prairie with a well in the middle. It was a plain well. Really. I’m being totally honest here.

Angels: So what’s with this place anyway?

Kirei-chan: Well for going to Kirei-chan’s world we need to jump into the well.

Carlos: Seems simple enough.

Of course being Carlos involved how simple can it be?

The hapless duo with their now annoying companion walked up to the well to be received by the recording of a woman.

Welcome to your favorite space/time travel agency “The Japanese well.” If you desire to go to feudal Japan press 1. If you desire to go to Fandom in order to save it from collapsing all anime and fan universe press 2. If you aren’t happy with our services please press three and our costumer service agent will be happy to kill you after seeing the ring.”

Angels: O-kay. This is weird.

Carlos: I know. What kind of service is this?! I’m pressing 3.

Angels & Kirei-chan: WHAT?! NO!!

They both screamed at the same time a second too late. Carlos had already pressed the number 3.

Suddenly a dark purple light came out of the well as a zombie-looking girl appeared before them. At this point both Angels and Carlos were twitching of fear.

Angels: I swear to God Carlos I will kill you before she kills us.

The girl walked in a dazed paced while our heroes ran away from her. Sure, it wasn’t a heroic action, but I don’t see you fighting zombies either.

Angels: I have an idea!

Angels said happily while grabbing Kirei-chan by her leg.

Kirei-chan: What’s wrong? Kirei-chan doesn’t like this.

Angels smirked as she stopped to face the girl head on. She started to spin Kirei-chan to a great speed, as a baseball player would do to a ball, and threw her head on to the zombie’s face. Now the zombie was too busy trying to pry off Kirei-chan to chase the duo.

Carlos: ANGELS!!

Angels: What? I will remember her sacrifice… for about 5 more minutes. Let’s hurry and jump in the well.

Carlos kept glaring at her but she just replied by sticking her tongue out. With a smirk on her face she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the well, with a very scared Kirei-chan behind who finally got away from the zombie.

“Lights surround me blinding me from my way. I just let my body fall in the endless abyss that feels like a dream. It’s in this moment that between bliss and calm that I forget whatever was before this time… ”

-Are you finally here?

“If I weren’t would I be hearing you?”

-^_^;;

Angels: Who are you?

Angels said out loud while opening her eyes. All she received as a reply was the puzzled looks from Carlos who was also falling with her.

-I’m in your head. This place sure is loud, by the way.

“In that case I recommend Carlos’ head instead. That place has been empty for years.”

Angels responded in her head completely annoyed by the person invading her mind.

-Oh sure, as if I were to tempt fate and be in the place who created 'Jaken’s baby-sit sessions.'”

“You just had to remind me…”

Kirei: Is your friend all right? She looks constipated.

Carlos: I’m not sure. She seems to be talking to yourself, which is a sign she’s going crazy. I’ve always told myself she would crack.

Kirei: ^_^;;; Good thing Kirei-chan’s world is a moment away.

-It is time. Let our bodies unite as one... let all that we are merge into one being. May my being fill the memories of your heart.”

“One?! What the hell do you mean by that?!”

Carlos: Angels?

With concern Carlos started to call the name of his female friend who didn’t seemed to answer. It was as if she had fallen into a coma with no way of return.

A light brighter than what he had been seeing in the skittles well he had seemed fell into covered Angels’ body in the shape of a female. Suddenly the end of the tunnel approached shining with the same intensity as the female and blinded him completely.

Angels… Angels…Wake up!! It’s me, Carlos! Angels!

“What is that voice calling in the distance? I can’t remember… But for now, I shall only rest”